And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
