If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize