I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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