i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
