Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
