she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
