She's JV to your varsity
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
