Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh god it's open bar.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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