I can text with my tongue
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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