So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
