Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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