id be glad to
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
