i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
