i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
