we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
