is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
