if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
