is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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