Pappa wants mamma naked
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
