I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
