Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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