You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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