can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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