you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A bitchslap is in order.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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