the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
