she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
be right there i have to get my cape
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
