I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
