i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
