Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
