You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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