pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you win again, gameday.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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