Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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