Got a toothbrush?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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