the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
