Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and she was petting her beer can
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
