she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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