Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
