; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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