remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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