Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
