I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
