My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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