I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
