watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
