I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
