I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
