Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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