I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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