Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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