I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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