Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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