saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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