this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
