based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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