I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
