took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
