You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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