i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
