i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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