it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
