how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
