I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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