if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
