My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
